#2. Remember who You are…
The thing no one ever tells you about nebulae is that they're super fucking noisy. Beautiful voices, stunning colors, but riotous neighbors. Granted, not many humans probably know that and also, can they actually be neighbors if you only have a porch and not a whole house? Hmm, much to ponder. But before I get into all that...
I left you all rather abruptly last time and promised the next piece of this insanity. That still holds true, but I have a little housekeeping to do first. I received your messages and thought it might be a good idea to answer a few of those here so all of you1 could enjoy the fun. Here we go!
RE: Rusted Cars
Jupiter.
In answer to your question why: because I like the way they look.
Kath
(P.S. Gerald has moved herself and the babies to your porch swing in your absence. You might want to take care of that.)
Thanks for the elaborate explanation, Kathie. Not sure when I'll be back, so please tell Gerald to kindly fuck off my porch. Thanks!
Dear Ms. Jacks,
This blog is stupid and obviously a bunch of bullshit. If there's really a porch in Space then who built it and how and why are you there? Also, Gerald is a dumbass name for a girl skunk.
Andrew L.
I appreciate the feedback, Andrew L. V useful. Will consider (and discard). All of your Space questions will be answered soon if you keep reading. Also, you might want to join Gerald in the invitation I extended to her. See above in my response to Kathie. Peace.✌🏼
Dear Jupiter,
Jazzy’s pumpkin oat milk lattes suck ass! I miss yours! Please come home soon!
Harry
P.S. Are you really in SPACE?? That's SO COOL! I believe that alien at the Mexican Congress was real! Don't you?!
Harry, Jazzy’s lattes are exquisite. Sounds like your taste buds need to be checked. Maybe they haven't recovered from your bout with COVID. As for am I really in Space, well, I guess as I'm writing this, technically, yes. I'm gonna talk about that in this post. And, I can't really say just yet if that "alien" is real but will keep you updated. Now, stop being a douche to Jazzy or I'll have her cut you off!😘
Where were we? Oh yes, I had just stepped through my front door and out onto a porch at the Edge of the Universe between some nebulae and the Great Empty. I mean I didn’t know that. I didn’t really learn that until much later.
So I stepped out onto the porch and as you can imagine, I promptly lost my shit.
Here is what I know about humans surviving in space…WE CAN'T. Or at least we can't without a suit and ship. And I had neither.
Note: Look, if you're going to be reading this, I need you to forget everything about the known universe and how it works. Almost all of that is wrong. So, leave your skeptic behind. I promise to approach all of this with enough skepticism for the both of us.
I looked out at the impossible view around me and…I started to hyperventilate.
I told you last week I'm not super brave, just a little too comfortable taking risks. But this seemed to be the place where my willingness to risk it all ended. My breath came in sharp gasps and my lungs contracted.
I was moving backwards towards the door to return from whence (such a great old timey word that people should use more often) I came when I heard an exceptionally loud voice call out behind me, "WAIT!"
I looked around still moving backwards. There was no one else on the porch except for me. Again, “PLEASE WAIT.” The voice appeared to be coming from a smallish pink and purple plastic boom box straight out of every '80's romcom. It looked as if might teeter off the rickety railing and into the darkness at any minute.
"SLOW YOUR BREATHING DOWN, JUPITER. YOU HAVE OXYGEN, ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. YOU CAN BREATHE HERE."
I cringed back from the volume of the echoing voice and tripped over...a glider rocking chair that looked suspiciously like the one on my own front porch. In fact, the entire porch looked oddly familiar almost as if my own but in a very very wrong place.
A very wrong place designed to kill me almost on contact.
"Please have a seat."
Apparently the Voice had recognized how its volume was affecting me and had lowered itself several decibels. But then another noise filled the air.
The Voice could barely be heard over....yep, you guessed…the noise appeared to be coming from the nebulae. The stunningly beautiful but exceptionally loud nebulae.
The fact that a disembodied voice was coming from a clearly defunct boom box didn't seem to phase me. Or at least didn't seem to register alongside the fact that I had walked into space from my HOUSE onto some weird kind of alternate universe porch and...huh, I was still breathing.
It boomed again, "WINONA, can you please shut the hell up for a minute!!" I looked around the porch. I didn’t see anyone else around.
"Who are you?" I asked the Voice, "am I really in space? Also how am I really in Space? Am I dead? Will I run out of oxygen soon? Why does this look like my front porch? Are you really a talking boombox? What the hell does this have to do with Lily Jo Greggs? Also, Winona? Am I dreaming?" I paused to take a breath and I swear I heard a sigh emanate from the speakers.
"You aren't dreaming, Jupiter. This is real. As for Winona, they are the nebula next door. Harmless but a little too free with their music. No, I am not a "boom box." It’s just what I’m using to speak to you. As for the rest of your questions, we’ll get there, now promise now please take a seat," It said again. We have much to discuss."
I'd say so. I was breathing but feeling as wobbly as that little black envelope materializing on my porch had seemed.
What a weird fucking dream. I fell back into the glider, gripping it's familiar arms. My mind was whirling. "Wait if you are not actually here, where are you? What are you? Do you have a name?"
"Of course I have a name. Everything has a name even if you don't know it." the Voice continued, "even if no one knows it."
"What's yours?" my curiosity about all of this was beginning to overcome my fear.
"You can call me...Audra," the Voice (Audra) said, "I have many names but that's the one best suited for this time. As to what I am...think of me as embodied echo of the Beginning. That’s not exactly it. But it will make sense soon. It’s hard to put in human words.”
Yeah, that wasn't helpful AT all, Beginning of what. She’d said it capitalized. I could hear it. "I don't really know what that means, but okay, I guess."
Audra sounded as if she were smiling, brimming with some secret a she continued, "eventually you will. You are the same."
"You were human??? You are human? Wait is this some kind of reality show? Am I being punked??"
"This is not a dream. And you are definitely not being punked. This is real life. Your real life, Jupiter. Also, get some new cultural references,” I could hear her smirk, “That show went off the air almost twenty years ago."
I rolled my eyes, a magical boombox with a voice that spoke sarcasm. I closed them to take it all in.
My mind started working on too many levels at once then began to overheat. I could feel myself beginning to spiral, so I took a very deep breath, held it for a minute, then let it out.Again and again until I had pulled myself back from the brink of anxiety attack.
"Are you okay?" Audra asked. She/they/it (?) sounded almost worried.
I shook my head no (as if the machine could see me) then yes until my head was just moving in a jerky circle
"Great." Apparently it could see me and was back to all business. "You're here, Jupiter, because the time has come for you to remember who you are.”
Again with the cheese. Whoever, whatever Audra was, it seemed she had a flair for the dramatic.
The words echoed around me, “Remember who you are…”
Maybe she meant like in a heritage sense? I have wondered about my biological family my whole life. You probably have some questions about that now, like did that mean I was adopted? What was my childhood like? Yeah, yeah. We'll get to those. Probably. At some point.
Sorry to pause here. Times up again. I know, pivotal moment, right? Like who am I?? What am I is probably a better question. We'll talk about that next week. Send me your questions or comments and I'll try to respond to a few in my next blog post!✌🏼
25 at last count!!!!